Start with a shared-space agreement
Ask each household member to describe a normal morning and evening. Record where routines overlap: cooking, laundry, television, work and visitors. For each activity, decide whether the space should be shared, separate or flexible. The brief will be clearer than a request for simply 'more bedrooms'.
- Meals: one kitchen and dining space, or a different arrangement to discuss?
- Quiet time: where can someone read, work or watch television separately?
- Visitors: which entrance and bathroom would they use?
- Outdoor space: where can people gather and where can they retreat?
Trace three routes on each plan
Follow the route from parking to the home, from each bedroom to a bathroom, and from the entry to the living area. Look for places where someone must pass through another person's private space. Discuss sound between rooms and whether sleeping areas need more separation from busy living spaces.
If mobility matters, describe the exact needs to the designer. Floor area and bedroom count do not establish whether a layout will work for a wheelchair, walking aid or a person who wants to avoid stairs.
Discuss future changes without assuming them
Think about whether the household is likely to change: adult children may move out, relatives may visit for longer, or a work space may need another use. Mark flexible rooms clearly. Do not assume a shared wing can later become a separate dwelling without further design and approval checks.
Take one agreed brief to the team
Bring the areas of agreement and the questions still open. Ask to compare a shared family home with any suitable home-and-minor options. Keep the proposed arrangement, site requirements and approval pathway together in the conversation. For an exemption question, use current MBIE guidance for the exact proposal; the label 'granny flat' is not enough to establish eligibility.
Try the early-riser test
Trace one person making breakfast while another is sleeping and a third is taking a work call. Look for shared routes and rooms where sound or visitor access could interrupt someone. Use the result to discuss separation with the designer.
- Can everyday activity bypass the private bedrooms?
- Where can someone have quiet time?
- Which spaces need to work independently?